Jun 25, 2020
Troy L. Love is a two-time Amazon Best-Selling Author and has a third book, A Year of Self-Love, which was published in 2019. Troy shares why we feel such deep shame and dives into the six attachment wounds we carry around after a traumatic childhood. He also helps visualize these six attachment wounds through characters to help people in recovery better understand themselves and their journey.
TAKEAWAYS:
[2:45] Troy shares his journey and why he is passionate about helping people with trauma.
[6:15] It took Troy roughly 10 years to feel grounded enough to move forward with his trauma and help other people.
[7:15] How is shame related to addiction.
[10:15] Our shame is connected to our attachment wounds. There are six attachment wounds: Loss, Neglect, Rejection, Abandonment, Betrayal, and Abuse.
[12:25] How does someone discover whether or not they have childhood trauma or not?
[15:45] Can we get over these childhood traumas?
[19:30] Narcissism can be cured.
[22:55] Our loudest voice is our own judgments.
[29:15] How can someone best recover from their own inadequacies when they have a partner at home who is very upset and hurt over the actions they have done?
[32:15] Darling, I know you suffer, but I am here for you.
[34:05] The use of compassion and empathy are the only ways out!
[36:20] There are places all over the world that can help you. Your location to get good care is no longer a barrier.
RESOURCES:
The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Connect with Troy: Website & A Year of Self Love by Troy L. Love
QUOTES:
- “Shame is the deep and abiding belief or experience that I am flawed and defective and therefore unworthy of love or belonging.”
- “I wasn’t acting out anymore, but man, I was still causing damage and it was fueled by the shame.”
- “Shame is anger turned inwards and when you stop being angry at yourself, you might start biting at people around you.”
- “As long as you can start doing the work and start to create some empathy and someplace, that creates space for your spouse to also begin to heal.”