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Sex, Love, and Addiction


May 23, 2019

Debra Kaplan, MA, LPC, LISAC, CMAT, CSAT-S specializes in helping adults and adolescents overcome addictions, issues related to sex and love, relationship struggles and unresolved traumatic stress. Today she shares information on how sex, money, and power play a role in addiction, what her experience was like working in the heavily male-dominated environment of Wall Street, what monetized rage is, and the first steps one must take in order to break free of the need for external validation to feel worthy and safe.

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[3:35] Although we do see abuse of sex and power in a large public forum, it can also happen in subtle ways. It may even be hard to notice that one is being abused, and not always understood by the one being controlled.

[5:16] Monetized rage speaks to the monetary exploitation of one individual by another. It can be an exchange of sex for money, cutting off funds, or only giving funds when a certain monetary need is met.

[6:20] There is a self centeredness that exists with sexual exploitation. It can take place when there is a power differential, at any level of income and any demographic, age or gender.

[12:46] It is almost a universal experience that women have to put on some type of armor to just exist in a culture where remarks and suggestive behavior run rampant.

[17:22] Women gear up to protect themselves one way or another in subtle ways. This can look like dressing down at work intentionally, or trying to also be overtly sexual to deflect unwanted attention.

[23:09] The greatest factors that negatively impact relationships and cause divorce are finance and work stresses, and cheating / infidelity. Debra works on helping couples realize their individual value, and what each of them bring to make the relationship better.

[27:40] In a culture that thrives on showing off money, sex, and power, it is imperative for people to know their self worth as a human individual.

[32:41] Social media has given us a 24/7 access to keep up with the Joneses, so it’s important to know that it’s just a highlight reel of people’s lives, and there is much under the surface we don’t see.

 

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Rob@sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Debra Kaplan

Debra Kaplan Counseling Facebook

Debra Kaplan Counseling LinkedIn

For Love and Money

Decades After ‘Boom Boom Room’ Suit, Bias Persists for Women


QUOTES:

  • “What can go wrong when you have sex, money, and power?”
  • “Abuse can happen in subtle, overt ways.”
  • “Whatever I accomplished had to be 3x what my male colleague achieved.”
  • “Wall Street has been immune from the front page social media fodder.”